WEEK 10: The Definitive Top 10 QB Babes
Arguing about quarterbacks is fun, at least to a certain point.
Is Patrick Mahomes still the best, even with his stats dipping the past few seasons? Who is better, Lamar Jackson or Josh Allen? Would you rather have your favorite team pay Trevor Lawrence $275 million or trot out some cheapo scrub? (I know my answer.)
And one I’ve had had the “pleasure” of arguing with DL subscriber Zach Boppas about 150 times since 2021 — is Jared Goff or Matthew Stafford the better player? If you just scoffed and muttered, “Stafford, obviously,” congratulations, because:
I’m putting a little twist on it this week, though.
Instead of ranking the QBs based on their talent, stats, and team performance, I’m doing it on one factor alone: how hot I find their GF/wife.
You might be thinking that’s a bit crass — and you’d be correct! But if you want to complain, you can pick a number, get in line, and kiss my a$$ (Jim Rome voice).
And a reminder — beauty is in the eye of the beholder. This is just my list based on my taste. Don’t take it so seriously. Alright, that’s enough throat clearing.
Honorable Mentions: Caleb Williams would’ve made the cut if he was still fighting on with her. And if Daniel Jones was actually dating Kay Adams, that’d make him auto top 5. Tua Tagovailoa’s wife gets points too because she probably hears him bitch a lot.
Matthew Stafford
If Kelly Stafford wasn’t doing bizarre stuff like talking about dating her husband’s backup and throwing pretzels at fans, she’d probably be a spot or three higher. But I get the sense Matthew Stafford deals with a neverending migraine.
9. Josh Allen
The Hollywood Media Machine keeps insisting Hailee Steinfeld is hot. I’ve been a bit skeptical… until this “Waterboy” outfit won me over. Confirmed Babe.
8. Joe Flacco
Five kids and counting for the Flacco family. He’s the unhoused man’s Philip Rivers. That gets you in the top 10 alone.
7. Dak Prescott
Lovely couple. No sarcasm or anything. Moving on.
6. Patrick Mahomes
Better than Taylor Swift. Especially since the “upgrade.”
5. Jared Goff
Christen Harper Goff is a supermodel and loyal… she was with Goffsie back when winning a single game was a celebratory event for the lowly Lions. I’m sure “Goof” making more than a quarter billion dollars throwing the pigskin helps earn some devotion, but still, that’s a nice combo in my book.
4. Baker Mayfield
Bake-O’s wife looks like she could handle a 120 degree day at Lake Havasu with ease. That means a lot to me.
3. Mac Jones
SEC Babe GF/Wife… sign me up.
2. Jaxson Dart
Must be nice to be young and good at football and be in NYC and date hot influencer babes. Whatever.
1. Justin Herbert
An East Coast babe who is independent, talented, makes her own dough, and will pound Modelos and margaritas at the Dodgers and Lakers games… yeah, Madison Beer earns Herbert the top spot. Congrats!
Okay, let’s make some picks.
Snack of the Week:
Hey, don’t let the fake news fool you — 80 calories and 8 grams of protein per serving means pork rinds = health food.
And here’s the SEXY 6:
Carolina Panthers (-5.5) vs. New Orleans Saints
Chicago Bears (-4.5) vs. New York Giants
Tampa Bay Buccaneers (-2.5) vs. New England Patriots
So based on a little research, home favorites this year are 55-42-2 ATS. Not bad.
But if you take out home teams favored by 7 points or more, that record surges to 33-14-2 ATS. That’s a 70.2% cover rate!!!
So I’m leaning on the home favorites this week in that “sweet spot” between being favored by 0.5 points to 6.5 points, as you can tell, with one exception.
Los Angeles Rams (-4.5) at San Francisco 49ers
Yikes, are my Rams suddenly the betting favorite to win the NFC? I’d prefer to linger a few spots down. And yeah, Shanny owns Sean McVay in the regular season and Kyren Williams is due for a couple more fumbles.
But the Niners are hella injured, and the Rams are not.
Arizona Cardinals (+6.5) vs. Seattle Seahawks
As always, use ATN sports for your fix.
Los Angeles Chargers (-2.5) vs. Pittsburgh Steelers
Good luck this weekend!
Last Week: 2-4
2025 Season: 24-30
That jump from 6 to 5 was intense. Jared Goff, I was unfamiliar with your game 👏